A Three Hour Tour
by General K-Star
Summary: Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip, that started from a tropic port aboard a tiny ship... you know the rest. Parody of Gilligan's Island with Harry Potter characters. Please R&R! EPISODE 3 IS HERE!
1. Episode 1: A Three Hour Tour

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the rights to Harry Potter or Gilligan's Island.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I have never really paid any attention to a Gilligan's Island episode, so this fanfic will not seem that similar to the show (Gilligan's Island was before my time). The only reason why I'm even mentioning Gilligan's Island is because that's what everyone thinks about when they hear something about seven castaways on a deserted island and someone else has already written a Harry Potter fanfic that has to do with Survivor (plus, I thought that having a part of the Gilligan's Island theme song in the summary would get people's attention). So, without further ado, here's my lame attempt at mixing Gilligan's Island with Harry Potter. Please review if you like it! Getting reviews will make me want to write even more!  
  
P.S: None of the Harry Potter characters in this fanfic are playing the roles of any Gilligan's Island character. Therefore, there are no main characters to this story. So, even if it seems as though Neville is playing the role of Gilligan and Hermione is playing the role of the Professor, they're really not. They're just being themselves like all the other characters are.

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EPISODE 1: A three hour tour...  
  
Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip, that started from some tropic port aboard a tiny ship.  
  
It was a beautiful, clear summer day. Harry, Ron, Hermione, Neville, and Ginny were at the coast visiting Fred and George, who had just bought a boat with some of the money they had earned from their joke shop. Fred and George had promised to take them on a tour of the coast on their boat.  
  
"I dunno, but something about this just doesn't seem right to me," Hermione said when Fred and George mentioned that it would be a three hour tour.  
  
"Quit worrying!" Ron said, "Yeah, going on a 'three hour tour' makes me a little nervous too, but do you really think something bad could happen? This fanfic is rated G! No one's gonna die!"  
  
"He's got a good point there," Fred agreed, "The author is a big fan, she wouldn't let any of us drown."  
  
"That's right!" I said. I then go back to writing this story. (And yes, I am a girl. You got a problem with that?)  
  
"Ok," Neville said, sounding a little spooked by the fact that Fred actually spoke to the author in the middle of the story, "That was just strange..."  
  
"Yeah," Ginny said, "But who cares? The sooner we stop chatting, the sooner we can go!" Everyone shuts up and boards the boat. They set sail.  
  
The weather started getting rough. The tiny ship was tossed. If not for the courage of the fearless crew... Yeah, right. How about, "If not for the fact that the author wanted to keep the storyline as G rated as possible and didn't want anyone to die," the boat would be lost. And this story would no longer have a plot. That means that I wouldn't be able to continue this story and that wouldn't be good if I wanted to add more chapters as I get more reviews for this fanfic. And if I keep going on like this, I'll never get done.   
  
(The author gets back to writing the story.)  
  
Well, the ship's aground on the shore of an uncharted desert isle, and I won't give you the list of the characters in the same way they did in the Gilligan's Island theme song because I already told you who was on the boat and no one fell overboard so they're all here on... some island that has no name.

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Well, I hope you enjoyed this intro. Please submit reviews! It'll make me want to write even more episodes! Tell me what you think! And I promise that I won't have so much lame narration in the next chapter! 


	2. Episode 2: A Very Surprising Discovery

DISCLAIMER: Why would it be any different from before? I still don't own the rights to either Harry Potter or Gilligan's Island and I probably never will!  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I don't need to say anything super different from what I said before the last episode. Y'all should know that this episode will actually have some action in it now that they're stranded. Like I said earlier, I've never really paid attention to Gilligan's Island so don't flame me if this isn't even remotely similar. I'm just winging it. Also, thanks to everyone who submitted a review! I love hearing y'all's opinions! Keep the reviews coming! And this time, I'll try to keep the lame narration to a minimum!  
  
EPISODE 2: A Very Surprising Discovery  
  
"Where the bloody hell are we?" Ron asked. The inflatable rafts they had boarded while the boat was sinking had washed up on shore. But, what shore was it?  
  
"Why are you asking us?" Fred asked, "We're just as clueless as you are!"  
  
"It was a rhetorical question, Fred," Ron replied, "I didn't expect an answer because I know that no one else knows the answer. Unless Hermione's figured it out already," he added.  
  
"As much as you would like to think that I'm a big know-it-all," Hermione said, "I don't always know it all! I have no clue where we are either!"  
  
"Well maybe if we could stop getting into an argument over who knows where we are," Harry said, "we could actually try to find out where we are!"  
  
"Well Ron started it!" Hermione said.  
  
"No I didn't! You did!" Ron replied.  
  
"COULD WE ALL QUIT ACTING LIKE CHILDREN AND COOPERATE FOR ONCE?" Neville shouted, "All this fighting is giving me a headache!" Everyone shut up.  
  
"Sorry Neville," Ron and Hermione said in unison.  
  
"Ok," Neville said, "Now that everyone has finally shut up, what were you saying earlier Harry?"  
  
"I said," Harry replied, "that we could look around this place to see where we are. I don't know if this is an island or a distant part of the shore we set sail from. We need to find that out." He looked around and saw a small mountain further in the jungle. "We could send someone up that mountain to look around and see if this is an island or not."  
  
"That's a brilliant idea!" Hermione exclaimed, "If only I had thought of that! See Ron?" she added, "I really don't always know everything."  
  
"Oh shut up!" Ron snapped.  
  
Hermione was about to respond but Ginny stopped her. "Could we please not have another argument?" she said, "It's bad enough that we're stranded here, we don't need you two to start arguing and make it worse!"  
  
Harry continued with his plan. "I think that Fred, George, and I should go up the mountain to look around," he said.  
  
"What, and leave us here to make sure that Ron and Hermione don't kill each other?" Neville replied, "No way! Have one of them go with Fred and George! I can't stand watching them fight!"  
  
"I'll go," Ron volunteered. So he, Fred, and George went up the mountain and Harry stayed behind with Hermione, Ginny, and Neville.  
  
Harry turned to the remaining three. "I guess we just sit and wait now," he said. So they sat and waited for Ron, Fred, and George to return. They came back a few minutes later.  
  
"Dang, that was a short mountain," Ron said, "It didn't take us long at all!"  
  
"So what did you see?" Ginny asked.  
  
"Water all around," George answered.  
  
"What does that mean?" Neville asked, sounding very confused. Everyone groaned at Neville's lack of logical thinking skills.  
  
"It means we're on an island, moron!" Ron replied.  
  
"Oh," Neville said, "and, what does that mean?"  
  
"It means we're on a small piece of land that is totally surrounded by the ocean!" Ron answered, getting annoyed by Neville's stupid questions.  
  
"And what does that mean?" Neville asked again.  
  
"That means that there's no way off!" Ron replied, getting more annoyed.  
  
"And what does that mean?" Neville asked, still confused.  
  
"That means we're stranded!" Ron replied, getting even more annoyed.  
  
"And what does that mean?" Neville asked, still as confused as he was earlier.  
  
"That means we're all stuck here together and we have no available methods of getting back home so we're probably going to be here awhile!" Ron replied, getting extremely annoyed.  
  
"And what does that mean?" Neville asked again, even though he already understood what it meant by now.  
  
"IT MEANS THAT IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP NOW I'M GOING TO STRANGLE YOU!" Ron yelled.  
  
"Oh," Neville said, "I get it now."  
  
"So, now what do we do?" Ginny asked.  
  
"Well, I guess we should start coming up with a plan for how to get off this island," Harry replied.  
  
"I have an idea!" Hermione said.  
  
"Of course you do," Ron scowled. Hermione ignored him.  
  
"We could have either Fred or George try to apparate back to where we came from and get help! They're old enough now," Hermione suggested.  
  
"Not a good idea," George replied.  
  
"We don't know how far away we are from home," Fred explained, "We could be hundreds of miles away for all we know! And apparating can be very risky over very long distances!"  
  
"And even if we did make it," George added, "We still wouldn't know where this island is in relation to the port we set sail from so we wouldn't be able to tell anyone where we came from and no one would be able to come and rescue the rest of you!"  
  
"Oh yeah," Hermione said. She already knew this fact about apparating. "I forgot about that."  
  
"We could build a fire to signal other ships," Ginny suggested, "I read that muggles do that in this kind of situation."  
  
"But why should we do what muggles do," Fred replied, "when we've got something they don't have!"  
  
"What would that be?" Neville asked.  
  
"Wands!" Fred replied, "We don't need to make a signal fire, we can signal ships by shooting sparks out of our wands! And even underage wizards can use magic in an emergency!"  
  
"Maybe we should practice first," Ron suggested, remembering how bad Neville was at even the simplest spells, "Everyone get your wand out. Especially you, Neville," he added. Ron reached into his pocket for his wand, but found nothing. "Bloody hell!" he exclaimed, "My wand's missing!"  
  
"Mine is too!" Ginny said.  
  
"So is mine!" Neville added.  
  
"We can't find ours either!" Fred and George said in unison.  
  
"I've lost my wand too!" Harry exclaimed.  
  
"They must have fallen out of our pockets when we abandoned ship," Hermione guessed. She had lost her wand as well.  
  
Ron sat down, depressed. "I don't know how we're going to survive out here," he said, "Not one of us knows anything about muggle survival skills. We were born and raised as wizards. We know nothing about muggle life."  
  
"Me neither," Neville added, "I was born and raised as a wizard too."  
  
"The Dursleys never let me do anything," Harry said, "I remember Dudley joined a Boy Scout troop once, but they didn't let me join. So I don't know much about the outdoors either."  
  
"We're all doomed!" Neville cried.  
  
Hermione got up. "It seems as though you've forgotten something," she said. They all looked up at her. "I have muggle parents, remember? I lived life as a muggle until the day I got the letter saying that I had been accepted at Hogwarts! I know everything about living as a muggle!"  
  
"True," George said, "But do you know anything about basic muggle outdoor survival skills?"  
  
Hermione grinned. "I know much more than the basics," she replied.  
  
"How much more?" Fred asked.  
  
Hermione figured she should tell them the story. She had wondered when the time would come that she would have to tell her friends this secret about herself that she had kept hidden for many years, and she could clearly see that the time had finally come to tell them. "I was going to tell you this eventually," she said. "The very first book I ever read on my own was my father's old Boy Scout handbook."  
  
"WHAT?" Harry, Ron, Fred, George, Ginny, and Neville said in unison. Hermione started to tell them the story.  
  
"My father used to be an Eagle Scout," she explained, "One day, when I was very little, I found his old Boy Scout handbook in a closet and started to read it by myself. I eventually memorized it. Not only that, but I completely understood everything that was written in there. My father thought it was very interesting that I had memorized and understood the entire Boy Scout handbook at such a young age, so he decided to take me camping with him so I could practice everything I learned and he even taught me the other survival skills my grandfather had taught him that weren't even mentioned in the handbook. Now, I not only KNOW every single outdoor survival skill that an experienced Eagle Scout would know, but I can actually USE those skills as well!"  
  
There was a moment of absolute silence. Harry, Ron, Ginny, Fred, George, and Neville could hardly believe what they had just heard. They all sat there, completely amazed with this piece of information that they would never had expected to be true about Hermione. The silence had gone on for what seemed like an eternity, when suddenly...  
  
"NO WAY!" everyone shouted at once.  
  
"Yes way!" Hermione shouted back.  
  
"Bloody hell!" Ron exclaimed, "I can't believe this! Are you serious, Hermione?"  
  
"I've probably never been more serious in my life," she replied.  
  
"Why didn't you tell us this before?" Ginny asked.  
  
"You never asked!" she answered.  
  
"So let me get this straight," Harry said, "what you're trying to tell us is that you know so much about Boy Scout outdoor survival skills that if it weren't for the fact that you are not a boy nor are you a member of any Boy Scout troop, you could actually be an experienced Eagle Scout?"  
  
"Yeah, pretty much," Hermione replied.  
  
"That is way too cool!" Ginny exclaimed.

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I hope you enjoyed reading this episode! I'll make another one soon! 


	3. Episode 3: Outdoor Survival 101

DISCLAIMER: Why bother?  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'd like to thank everyone who has submitted a review! Keep them coming! And I'd appreciate seeing some more reviews from other readers. I worked really hard on the last episode and I think this one may be even better!

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EPISODE 3: Outdoor Survival 101  
  
After learning that Hermione knew almost everything about outdoor survival, Harry, Ron, Fred, George, Ginny, and Neville decided that she should teach them the basics. Then she could eventually teach them some more advanced techniques that could make life on the island much easier. They all sat down, and Hermione stood in front of the group so they could hear her instructions.  
  
"The first thing we need to do," she said, "is find a place to build a shelter. It needs to be slightly above sea level to avoid flooding. Then, we must actually build the shelter."  
  
"How are we going to do that?" Ginny asked, "We don't know how!"  
  
"I do," Hermione answered, "Just leave that to me. I will need some help though."  
  
"I'll help!" Neville eagerly volunteered.  
  
"All right," Hermione replied, "Neville's going to help build the shelter. Now, we need someone to go find a source of water."  
  
"Why?" Neville asked, "We're surrounded by water!"  
  
"You can't drink salt water. You could get very sick from it," Hermione explained, "It has to be fresh water. If we cannot find a source of fresh water, then we must either build a fire to boil the salt water before drinking or build something to collect rainwater with."  
  
"How can we drink the water if it's boiling?" Neville asked.  
  
"You're supposed to let it cool first, moron!" Ron replied.  
  
"Oh," Neville said.  
  
"I remember seeing a spring on top of the mountain," George said, "It created a waterfall deep in the jungle."  
  
"Excellent!" Hermione said, "You and Fred can go collect some water."  
  
"With what?" George asked.  
  
"We each need to make a canteen of some sort," Hermione explained.  
  
"How?" Harry asked.  
  
"I'm not sure yet," she said, "When I come up with something, I'll tell you. Meanwhile, Fred and George can make a fire."  
  
"Why?" Neville asked, "We know where to find fresh water."  
  
"We still need a fire so we can signal ships and cook food," Hermione explained, "There are many things that we need a fire for."  
  
"Oh," Neville said.  
  
"We also need someone to go find food," Hermione said, "This appears to be a tropical island, so we should be able to find some coconuts or bananas."  
  
"We'll go look," Harry said. Ron nodded.  
  
"Ok," Hermione said, "We should all get to work now."  
  
"What will I do?" Ginny asked.  
  
"You can help me and Neville with the shelter," Hermione said. Everyone got up and went off to go do what they had been told. Fred and George approached Hermione.  
  
"How do we make a fire?" Fred asked.  
  
"We don't have any wands to make a magical fire with," George said.  
  
"You rub two sticks together and create friction," Hermione explained, "The friction will cause the sticks to get hot. When you start seeing smoke come from one of the sticks, blow on it and a fire should start." She then showed them the proper way to hold the sticks and made a small pile of dry wood for them to throw the two sticks onto when the fire started. "When you get the fire started," she continued, "you need to add more wood so the fire will get bigger."  
  
"Ok," Fred replied. He and George started working on the fire. Hermione turned to Neville and Ginny and explained how to make a shelter.  
  
"We'll use the inflatable rafts," Hermione explained, "They're a lot easier to use as shelter than a bunch of leaves. Besides, we have no rope to tie anything together with, so we can just prop the rafts up on sticks and weigh down the edges with rocks instead of tying them to stakes in the ground. I have some string, but it's not strong enough to tie down a tent with. Once we're able to find or make some rope, we can improve the shelters."  
  
"So, the shelter would be like a tent?" Ginny asked.  
  
"Yes," Hermione replied, "I know how to make a tent out of just a tarp and some sticks, so I can make tents out of deflated inflatable rafts as well. Since the rafts are the same size, we can't make one tent bigger than the other so the boys' tent is going to be a bit more crowded than the girls' tent because there are more boys here than girls." Hermione walked over to the deflated rafts and dragged them over to where they were going to build the tents. She had Ginny and Neville go find some sticks while she looked for some rocks that were heavy enough to weigh down the tents. Ginny and Neville returned with four sticks that were long enough. Hermione showed Ginny and Neville how to pitch the tent by pitching the girls' tent on her own so they could see how it's done. She then planted the sticks for the boys' tent into the sand and left Ginny and Neville to finish the boys' tent while she went to check on everyone else. She had just turned around to go check on the others when the tent collapsed on Neville. Ginny (who had actually paid attention) helped Neville set the tent up properly.  
  
Deep in the jungle, Harry and Ron were searching for food. Harry had just found several banana trees and had collected a very large bunch from one of the trees. They were returning to camp when suddenly...  
  
"OW!!!" Ron yelled, "Something just hit me in the head!"  
  
Harry looked around to see what it might have been, but then something hit him in the head too. It had come from above. He and Ron looked up and saw something brown and round falling from a tree. It was a coconut. They looked around and saw the two other coconuts that had hit them in the head.  
  
"Awesome!" Ron exclaimed, "We've found coconuts!" He picked up the three coconuts that had fallen to the ground. They started heading back to camp when Hermione appeared. She had come to check on them.  
  
"Have you found anything?" she asked.  
  
"We sure have!" Harry exclaimed. He and Ron showed her the bananas and coconuts that they had just found.  
  
"There are loads more where these came from!" Ron exclaimed.  
  
"Excellent! Well done!" Hermione exclaimed, "We can use the coconut shells as canteens when we're done with them!"  
  
"If we're going to do that, we'll need four more," Harry said.  
  
"I'll get them," Ron said. He climbed up into the nearest coconut tree and started throwing some down. Hermione caught them as Ron threw them (Harry's hands were full because of the large bunch of bananas he had found). Fred and George appeared.  
  
"Hey Hermione!" they called out.  
  
"What?" she asked, turning to see who had called her. She was no longer paying attention to the coconuts that Ron was throwing so one hit her in the head. "OW!" she yelled.  
  
"Sorry!" Ron shouted back.  
  
Fred and George approached Hermione. "We've made fire!" they exclaimed, "Now what?"  
  
"That's excellent!" Hermione replied, "Not too many people can get a fire going right away! You need to start adding more wood to the fire so it can keep burning. It wouldn't be good if it burned out. Who's watching the fire now?" she asked.  
  
"Oh," Fred replied, "I didn't know we needed to have someone keep watching the fire..."  
  
"But I suppose Ginny and Neville are probably looking after it," George added.  
  
"We should go check to make sure nothing's burned down," Hermione suggested. She picked up the coconuts that Ron had thrown (including the one that hit her), Ron picked up the three they found earlier, and everyone followed Fred and George back to camp.  
  
When they got back, they had a small party to celebrate their first successful day on the island. They ate bananas and drank coconut milk (Hermione had found a way to poke a hole in the coconuts using a rock and a stick). They then dug a pit for the fire and moved it there by putting more sticks in the pit, setting fire to another stick by putting it in the first fire, then putting that stick in with the other sticks in the pit. They put rocks around the pit. Soon, it was time for everyone to go to bed.  
  
"We need to have someone watch the fire overnight," Hermione said, "You should NEVER leave a campfire burning unattended."  
  
"How will we get any sleep if we're watching a fire all night?" Ginny asked.  
  
"We'll do it in shifts," Hermione explained, "I'll watch it first, and then I'll wake one of you up to watch it the rest of the night. My watch is waterproof, so it didn't die when we abandoned ship. We can use it to determine when our shift is over." She removed her watch and set it on a rock by the fire so other people could look at it during their shift. "Ok, now who is all right with waking up early in the morning?" she asked.  
  
"I am," Harry said.  
  
"Ok," Hermione replied, "So I'll come wake you up when my shift is over. Is 4:00 ok?"  
  
"Sure!" Harry said, "Are you sure you'll be able to stay up until then?"  
  
"Yes," Hermione said, "I'll be ok."  
  
"Well, I don't think it's fair that you have to stay up all night and then wake up with the rest of us," Harry said, "Are you really serious about doing this? You don't have to. You've done so much for us already."  
  
"I'm serious!" she said, "I'm just fine with this!"  
  
"Well I have an idea," Fred announced, "Since you've already done so much to help us and are willing to do even more..."  
  
"We need to thank you somehow," George finished.  
  
"So we think," Fred said, "That since you are willing to stay up all night to watch the fire, we should allow you sleep in later than the rest of us."  
  
"It's only fair," George added.  
  
"I agree!" Harry said.  
  
"Me too!" Ron said.  
  
"So do I!" Ginny said.  
  
"I do too!" Neville said.  
  
"I'll wake everyone up at 8:00," Harry said, "that means everyone needs to be in bed by midnight, and you can wake up at noon. That'll give you eight hours if you're going to bed at 4:00."  
  
"Really?" Hermione asked.  
  
"YES!" Everyone said at once.  
  
"Wow, thanks guys!" Hermione exclaimed, "That's so nice of you!" She gave everyone a hug and they all went to bed, leaving her to watch the campfire overnight.

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Well, that's all for today's episode! I hope y'all liked it! Epidode 4 is coming soon!


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